1.7: Too Many Questions

“You what?”

Gage had just told me he loved me. I was flabbergasted. What? My best friend said he loved me. Did he mean in love with me? 

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“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Gage continued, swinging our arms back and forth.

Well that answers that. I think… 

“I need you in my life, Kass, and if that means, not going to Simcago, then I won’t go. I realized you’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to real family. I don’t need to go to Simcago to know that, to experience family. I have family right here. Pablo and Jennifer would’ve adopted me had we not had so many issues with the papers before I turned 18 and well, they’ve treated me alright and brought me up okay. After all my foster care homes, they were amazing. And you, you’ve been my friend from the beginning for as long as I can remember. I don’t know how to say this, Kass, but I care too much about you to lose you and to go off to some different university. I was thinking. I could come with you… with your dad.”

He must’ve seen the surprise on my face because he paused momentarily.

“You need moral support and I want to go with you and you will regret it if you don’t go. And I was thinking we could go together to see my family. Then you’d get to meet them too and see for yourself. I want to be with you, and I want you to…” he stopped. “Say something.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I said quietly, taking a step back. “I can’t… this is too much to take in at once. I just…”

…go on! Tell him. You had a nice evening in the park with a great guy who doesn’t share a complicated history with you and oh llamas! a love confession. Wow! That’s a complicator. 

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“I can’t… not tonight… I need to think about it,” I said, nervously tucking a strand of hair over my ear.

“It’s okay, you can think about it,” Gage said hurriedly as if trying to rush the words out. “I know it’s a lot. I didn’t expect an answer tonight. I hoped, but I didn’t think I would get one.”

“Well yeah, I mean, I didn’t know you felt this way,” I answered.

“I didn’t either… I mean… I did… but well… oh boy!” Gage suddenly seemed nervous, but it didn’t last long. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to pressure you or make you feel weird. I also was mad at you. I mean, you haven’t been very supportive of me leaving, but then I thought maybe you felt like I was abandoning you. Maybe you felt betrayed. Maybe you thought I was giving up on you. Then I thought, maybe you felt that way because you cared about me too… you loved me.”

“I do love you, Gage,” I said quickly. “As a friend. You’ve always been my friend. Honestly, I haven’t thought about you as more than that. I just have always accepted you as Gage… my Gage… my good friend… my best friend…”

“I get the picture,” he dropped his head in disappointment.

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“Gage, I didn’t mean I don’t… I can’t… I won’t have feelings for you. I just have a lot going on in my life right now to sort through. I’m sorry for hurting you and for confusing you and for getting so angry. You’re right. I was feeling a little betrayed when you made plans without me, when you changed plans on me. You’ve always been there for me as long as I can remember. Even before Ayesha was my friend, you were there. I always was scared social services would come and take you far away from Sunset Valley, that you’d meet your real family and well… leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Gage. You are my best friend. I need you too, just maybe not the same way you’re thinking right now…”

How can I be honest with him without hurting his feelings? What am I feeling? I don’t even know. 

“I don’t know what to think or what to feel right now. I’m confused. I’m a little lost. I need time. I don’t want to hurt you, Gage,” my voice cracked and I realized how many conflicting emotions were swirling around inside me.

I do need him. I just don’t need him like that… feel for him like that… love him like I think he wants me to. But why? He’s a great guy. But he’s just a great guy… friend… 

“Can you give me some time to sort through some stuff?”

And Davis! I was supposed to meet Davis tomorrow night and here Gage is confessing his love for me and I don’t… I can’t… oh llamas! Why can’t I just hide under my pillows and never come out? 

“Yeah,” he said gently. “I’ll be here, Kass. I’ll always be here.”

“I know,” I offered weakly.

He refrained from hugging me before he left, probably because he felt awkward. Part of me wanted to run after him, but another part of me told me that I knew better. I didn’t feel the same way about Gage as he felt about me. I couldn’t lead him on. I’d have to tell him tomorrow. Well, maybe not tomorrow. I’m going to meet Davis tomorrow. But it’s not a date, I tried to convince myself.

“Yeah stupid, it’s a date,” I sighed, as I climbed the stairs for bed.

I slept until 4:45 A.M. I couldn’t fall back asleep. It was okay though because I had scheduled my EXCES blood test with my doctor this morning at 7AM.  I decided to take extra time on my clothes and my hair. Somehow I always felt better when I dressed up when going to the doctor.

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I arrived at the Sun Valley Clinic with 5 minutes to spare. Suddenly I felt very nervous. Did I really want to know? Could I really have EXCES too? Did that mean I had alien DNA in me also? I turned around to walk back to my car. I can’t do this! But instead of running, I walked up the steps and through the front door.

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Dr. Bachelor personally greeted me in the waiting room after only fifteen minutes of waiting. I smiled nervously before following her back to the room. The nurse cleaned my arm with the alcohol swab and stuck the needle in. I tried not to think about the blood leaving my veins. They assured me the test results would be in soon and Dr. Bachelor promised to call me the minute she knew anything. She spent nearly a half-hour explaining all the possible scenarios so I’d be prepared, but reassured me that the likelihood of me having EXCES was slim.

“So what if I do?” I said, my voice barely audible.

“It’s okay, we’ll take it one step at a time,” Dr. Bachelor said calmly. “For now, just go home and relax. We should have the results in tomorrow morning or the next day.”

“Okay,” I said weakly as I slid off the table.

I had too many questions and I wasn’t going to get them answered now. Too many questions… and Dr. Bachelor couldn’t answer them all.

Thoroughly exhausted, I collapsed on my bed when I arrived back home. I didn’t wake up until almost eleven. When I came downstairs, Cari was cooking pancakes.

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“Want some?” she offered.

“Sure!” I smiled.

She dropped a huge ball of butter on my pancakes and garnished the plate with a few berries before sitting down with her own plate at the kitchen table.

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“So did you know about VJ and Andi?” I asked casually, curious if my other sister knew anything.

Cari coughed dramatically. “VJ Alvi? That weird kid from school with the spikey hair? What is he doing with Andi?” she frowned.

“Oh nothing, I just think she’s tutoring him in chemistry,” I said nonchalantly.

“I’ll give him a chemistry lesson… like what happens when I combine my fist with his face,” Cari punched her hand.

“Oh geez, Cari, wrong subject I think… maybe physics. Relax. She seems happy,” I sat down at the table as Andi walked in.

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“Good morning,” Andi greeted us, chipperly. “You made pancakes!”

“Yeah,” Cari wolfed them down, probably so she could grill our little sister. “So what’s up with you and VJ?”

“You told her?” Andi exclaimed. “I can’t believe you, Kass.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me,” I sighed. I really don’t. 

“So what’s he doing with you? He’s a junior and you’re a freshman! What are you thinking? Does Mamma know? Is he treating you right? Why didn’t you tell me?” Cari asked a million miles a minute.

“Can I eat in peace?” Andi replied exasperated, giving me a “help” look.

“Cari go wash your dish off,” I suggested.

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“Oh fine!” Cari grumbled. “No one ever wants to talk to me anyway.” She stood up and shuffled off the sink saying a few more things beneath her breath.

“Why did you tell her?” Andi mouthed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I just… was curious… I’m sorry. You’re right. It wasn’t my place.”

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“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cari repeated angrily as she returned to the table. “First Mamma, now you. What next? Kassio, you’re going to tell me someone’s in love with you!?”

I flushed several shades of red.

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“Our love lives are our own business,” Andi said quietly, shoving a few bites in her mouth.

“But we’re sisters. We’re supposed to know everything,” Cari said with a huff. “I made you pancakes!”

“Well, we don’t have to,” Andi grunted. “Just because you made me pancakes and just because we’re sisters doesn’t mean I should tell you everything that goes on in my life. Do you?”

“What do you mean? I have NO secrets!” Cari screeched as she stomped from the room.

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“Yeah, I believe that,” Andi smirked.

We both shared a knowing smile before I grew serious again.

“I’m sorry, Andi, I really am. I’m just stressed. I wasn’t thinking when I asked Cari,” I sighed, looking down at my plate.

“It’s okay, I forgive you,” Andi said calmly. “I knew she’d find out anyway. I figured she’d see us together at school before now. I’m surprised she didn’t already know.”

“Well I didn’t know til you told me so she’s just… don’t worry about Cari. The important thing is you’re happy.”

“Yeah, I am. I was hoping you’d come to church with us on Sunday. Where were you?”

“I… uh… had a meeting at the coffee shop.”

“Uh huh… Ayesha told me about the cute barista.”

“What?”

“Yeah, over instant message this morning.”

“Since when do you and Ayesha IM?”

“Well, sometimes… She wanted to make sure you kept your big date tonight because she has to go to Bay City and won’t be around to help you get ready.”

“My da… what? Hmph!”

“Don’t worry, Kass, your secret is safe with me,” Andi said, her eyes twinkling.

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Trying to clear my mind, I went for a run, but that did little to help me. I kept thinking about Gage and Davis and Dad and Gage’s offer and VJ and Andi and how I’d answer Gage and if I should even go out with Davis tonight and whether I was suffering from EXCES too. It was overwhelming. I felt dizzy. I had run for nearly an hour. I was probably dehydrated. It was pretty warm outside. I suddenly realized I was in front of my dad’s house.

Maybe I should go talk to him. I have so many questions, Daddy, and I don’t know how to answer them. I want you to help, but I don’t want to tell you I need help. I want… I don’t know what I want… peace? Andi says a relationship with Padre is the answer. I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I wanted you to stay in my life so badly and you walked out. Why, Daddy, why? 

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I realized the tears were falling down my face. I nearly walked up the driveway and knocked on the door. But then I saw… her… Kate. She was standing by the front window, seeming not to notice me as she flipped through some mail.

What am I going to do? I felt panicked as I ducked my head, turned around, and ran away. I need answers. I can’t answer all these questions. Can anyone? 

Chapter Eight Coming Soon! 

  •  What will Kass’s test results be? 
  • How will Andi and VJ’s relationship progress?
  • Will Kass give Gage the answer he wants? 
  • What will she decide about the trip with her dad? 
  • Will she go and meet Davis tonight? 

Author Changes: What’s different?

  • Minor grammatical changes.
  • The line “God’s the answer” is changed to “a relationship with Padre is the answer.” See more about religion here.
  • Picture size was edited.

Story Extras: 

  1. The building representing the Sun Valley Clinic is a downloaded lot from The Sims Resource: Little Village Hospital. (*I did have some major glitches with this building because I don’t have all the stuff packs, but I really liked the design).
  2. Jocasta Bachelor is a Sim living in Sunset Valley. For purposes of my Sim story, she is a Kass’ personal doctor.
  3. Bay City is my Simworld version of San Francisco, California.
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7 thoughts on “1.7: Too Many Questions”

    1. Yeah she really is. She went for a run and it was totally coincidental that she stopped at her dad’s and that she started crying (though I think it was because she witnessed an elder dying, but it worked for the story). Thanks for reading and for comments.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I love knowing about what really happenes in the game – sometimes it looks like the Sims know the stories we write about them and decide to randomly collaborate! That’s crazy, isn’t it? Btw, do you remember who was the Sim that died? I hope nobody she knew… Because that would be too much for one day even for us, real people. I’m curious who she will decide for, Davis or her best friend??? Or none of them? Guess I should read on 😉

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  1. Talk about having too much on your plate! This poor girl is at an all you can eat buffet right now. Between a best friend declaring his love for her, a new guy that she is interested in, her sisters and their love lives. starting a new school in the fall, her mother starting to date again, her father dying and the fact that she had to be tested for the same disease. (We won’t even get into Kate who should be a minor annoyance at this time) I have to give her credit if I was her I would be pulling my hair right out of my head but somehow she is holding it all together.

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    1. Haha. Great way of describing that, Piazzagirl. She’s trying to stay strong, and it’s rough. Kass buries a lot of what she deals with and tries to shoulder the burdens alone which is part of her problem. Thanks for reading.

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